we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
