I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
