No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
