can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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