I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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