I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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