got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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