He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
