i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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