Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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