clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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