u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Nicole vs. Life
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
