i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Randomize
