she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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