Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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