Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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