is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
