mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
