Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
