operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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