I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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