SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
