so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
