You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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