I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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