so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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