we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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