just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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