Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
