sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
