The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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