i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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