Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
