: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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