can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
