u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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