guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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