Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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