your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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