Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
