YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
