Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am one with the molecules
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
