Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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