Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
