HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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