He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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