Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
