I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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