dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
