Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
